Sexual intimacy can take many forms and expressions—not strictly limited to genital contact in the traditional sense. Libido and low desire are not about frequency. The invitation here is to see desire issues through the lens of unmet needs. Counseling for mismatched sex drives or low libido can help.
Mismatched Sex Drives: What causes it?
Many couples fall into periods of having mismatched sex drives —regardless of stage or length of partnership. It’s very common for partners to experience mismatched sex drives and many couples have trouble communicating effectively when this happens.
Partners living together who have been together for a long time can start to feel more like roommates than sexual partners. Stress, life events, and regular discord can contribute to couples having mismatched sex drives and not engaging sexually.
Because this is not a topic often spoken about as normal in the lifespan of a relationship, what often develops is a cycle in which not having sex leads to even more sexlessness. When this happens, even the thought of initiating sex or doing something sexual or seductive becomes more awkward, confusing, or intimidating. This is when counseling may be needed.